Supporting children with anxiety as a new school year begins

I had help to write this as it’s obviously not my area of expertise, but I hope it’s helpful:

Starting a new school year can be a stressful and overwhelming experience for many children, especially if they’re already struggling with their mental health. As a parent, it can be heartbreaking to see your child upset about going back to school. Here are a few ideas that I hope help to make the new term a little bit easier.

One of the most important steps in supporting your child is to acknowledge their feelings. It’s normal for children to experience anxiety, nervousness, or stress when faced with new environments, routines, and expectations. Let them know that it’s okay to feel this way and reassure them that they are not alone.

Encourage your child to talk about their worries without fear of judgement and validate their emotions to help them feel understood and less isolated in their struggles. This will hopefully help them to feel seen.

Children, particularly those who are anxious, often benefit greatly from having a predictable routine. Structure provides a sense of safety and control, especially when they feel overwhelmed by changes. In the lead-up to the new school year, it’s a good idea to establish a routine that mirrors the school day. This might include setting regular bedtimes, wake-up times, and mealtimes to help them to adjust gradually.

A simple, visual schedule can be particularly helpful for younger children or those who like to ‘see’ what to expect which is often the case for many neurodiverse children. Together, you could create a daily routine chart that outlines what they can expect each day. This allows them to see what’s coming, which can help reduce feelings of uncertainty.

Fear of the unknown can be a significant source of anxiety for many. If possible, take some time before the school year starts to familiarise them with their school environment. If they are attending a new school, visiting the building, walking through the hallways, and locating important areas such as their classroom or playground can help ease some of their fears. Meeting their teacher before the first day can also provide a sense of comfort.

If visiting the school isn’t feasible, there are other ways to familiarise them with the environment. Look through the school’s website together or use online tools like Google Street View to explore the area virtually. The goal is to reduce the sense of unfamiliarity, helping them feel more at ease when the first day arrives.

When faced with a new school year, children can feel overwhelmed by the idea of an entire academic year stretching out ahead of them. To make the experience feel less daunting, help your child break down the challenge into smaller, manageable steps. For instance, instead of focusing on the whole year, encourage them to think about just the first week or even the first day.

Negative thoughts can fuel anxiety, especially when children anticipate the worst about a new school year. Help your child develop the habit of positive self-talk. For example, if they express concerns about making friends, guide them to reframe their thoughts. Instead of thinking, "I won’t make any friends," encourage them to say, "I’ve made friends before, and I can do it again."

Work together to create a list of positive statements your child can repeat to themselves when they feel anxious. Simple phrases like "I can handle this" can boost their confidence and help shift their mindset. The more they practise reframing their thoughts, the easier it will become to manage their anxiety.

Starting a new school year can be mentally and physically exhausting for children, particularly those who struggle with anxiety. Make sure your child has a quiet, comfortable space where they can decompress after school. Whether it’s their bedroom, a cosy corner with their favourite books, or even a spot outside, giving them time and space to unwind without immediate pressure to talk about their day is important.

Some children may need time to process their feelings before they’re ready to discuss them. Allow them to relax in their own way, whether that’s through drawing, playing with toys, or engaging in another quiet activity. Let them know you’re there for them when they’re ready to talk, but don’t force the conversation.

Children often take their cues from their parents, so maintaining a positive attitude about school can help them feel more optimistic. Speak about the new school year as an exciting opportunity to learn new things, make friends, and have fun. If your child sees that you are calm and confident, they are more likely to feel that way themselves.

You can also share your own experiences with starting new things, whether it’s a new job or a new hobby. Talking about how you overcame nervousness, or uncertainty can help them see that feeling anxious is normal, but it doesn’t have to stop them from enjoying the experience.

Teaching your child to take deep breaths can be very effective in calming anxious feelings.

If their anxiety about the new school year is significant, it may be helpful to work closely with their teacher or the school’s support staff. Informing their teacher about your child’s concerns allows them to keep an eye on how they’re coping and provide extra support where needed. Sometimes, just knowing that their teacher is aware of their worries can help children feel more secure.

Encourage your child to identify a "safe person" at school, such as a teacher or teaching assistant, whom they can go to if they’re feeling overwhelmed. This gives them a clear plan of action when their anxiety spikes during the school day.

Progress may be slow, but it’s important to celebrate every step forward. Whether it’s completing the first day without tears or making a new friend, acknowledging these small victories can help boost your child’s confidence. Positive reinforcement can go a long way in helping them feel proud of their efforts.

Even simple praise and a high-five can make a big difference in encouraging their progress.

If your child’s anxiety becomes overwhelming or is significantly impacting their day-to-day life, it might be worth seeking professional support. A therapist who specialises in childhood anxiety can work with your child to develop coping strategies and provide additional tools to help manage their emotions.

Early intervention is key to helping your child develop healthy ways of dealing with stress, and a professional can guide both you both through this process.

Starting a new school year can be tough for children, especially when they’re dealing with mental health challenges. By acknowledging their feelings, creating a supportive routine, and encouraging positive habits, you can help ease their anxieties. Remember that every journey is different, so be patient, offer encouragement, and celebrate their progress—no matter how small. With your love and support, your child can face the new school year with growing confidence.

Good luck as the year begins.