My role as a Doula.....
For those that follow me closely on Facebook you will know in January I was part of my first wonderful clients labour, she was an absolute goddess who handled pregnancy and birth like a warrior doing everything in her power to become educated and make informed choices that were right for her family.
I felt blessed with being part of her journey and it has clarified for me that this is part of my calling in life, to be an awakened Doula empowering women to take their power back in birth.
I would like to introduce myself and share some more of my story:
So I am Haze, I have three children. 15 years ago I had my eldest at the age of 23, I remember having a birth plan but naively believing that all I needed was a birth plan written down, to attend some antenatal classes and I'd be good to go. Little did I realise the lessons I'd have to learn, at the time I was doing the best I could with the limited knowledge I had, I believed the system would have my best interests at heart.
So there I was at the age of 23 being induced. This was the first unnecessary intervention I had which then led to a cascade of further interventions, sweeps, drugs, ventouse, an emergency c section and an unwell baby...... a traumatic birth..... Many of us have these stories to tell, traumatic births are not uncommon but they should be!
At the time I did not realise what had happened, I honestly believed my body had failed me in birth.
Two and a half years later, I knew I didnt want another c section even though it was encouraged, so my second baby came 'naturally' in hospital, I remember the hospital room clearly and I also remember feeling like a burden on the short staffed ward, so although I had her naturally it felt far removed from natural being in a clinical setting, of course though I was thankful for my healthy baby and no trauma like my first birth.
Fast forward 14 years to summer 2022 and upon finding out I was pregnant I took a deep dive into researching pregnancy and birth, that dive took me to When Push Comes To Shove and the incredible Nickita Starck.
I first conversed with a lovely lady Rachel at Creative Birth who was part of the When Push Comes To Shove tribe, at the time I still didn't quite understand that the trauma of my first birth wasn't due to my body failing but it was due to the fact most interventions are unnecessary and create more problems than they solve!
As I learnt more and more through research, books, podcasts, videos and having conversations with various women I realised the truth of the situation which unfortunately may trigger some...... our current maternity services are not fit for purpose and they haven't been for a long time!
This is not me blanketing all the services and all the women that work in the system as not fit for purpose this is me saying the system is failing, women are being more and more frequently removed from the path of a physiological birth!
I made the decision to become a Doula while I was pregnant, it was the best decision I could have ever made, being armoured up with research and knowledge was absolutely key to me getting the birth I wanted, which all women should have! I was stripping back the layers of indoctrination and belief that the best thing for me to do would be to hand my power over to others and let them make decisions that could be detrimental to mine and my baby's wellbeing.
Throughout my pregnancy I found my voice, I learnt to question everything, I learnt to say no, I reminded everyone I connected with along the way that it was my body my choice and ultimately because of this and despite the warnings from a system that told me I was high risk and I would likely have a catastrophic birth, I gave birth to my baby naturally at home with my beautiful friend by my side and my other children present.
For me it has healed a lot of past trauma, I have shed those layers of lacking in self belief, of making myself a victim, I have shed a lot of the trauma that I had carried like a heavy cloak for all those years.
Birth can be empowering if we choose it to be, we can make informed decisions which are right for us as individuals without fear.
For any Mama's and Mama's to be in Suffolk that this resonates with please come and join my new free support group, a safe place for ladies to reach out and ask questions, a space we can all share experiences and research, the only way things will change is if women talk, share and learn, lets get informed and take our power back, its an incredible feeling.
Suffolk Mama's Tribe
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