Another form of mum-guilt? Does it never end?!
Summer holiday mum-guilt refers to the feelings of guilt and inadequacy that many mothers experience during the school summer break. This guilt often stems from the perception that they are not providing enough quality time, engaging activities, or memorable experiences for their children. These feelings can be exacerbated by societal expectations, social media portrayals of "perfect" family summers, and the inherent challenge of balancing various responsibilities. With the long build up to the summer holidays, mums can be feeling overwhelmed and guilty before the holidays even start.
What are some of the common triggers?
1. Time Constraints: nowadays many mothers are juggling multiple roles, including professional responsibilities, household management, and childcare. The struggle to find enough time to meet all these demands can lead to feelings of guilt, especially when work obligations limit the time available for summer activities with their children.
2. Financial Pressures: The cost of summer holidays can be prohibitive, and not all families can afford expensive trips, camps, or activities. Us mums often feel guilty about not being able to provide the same level of experiences that we see other families enjoying, leading to financial stress and guilt. Add onto that the current cost-of-living crisis and we’re stressed up to our eyeballs!
3. Comparisons on Social Media: Social media platforms are filled with picture-perfect snapshots of idyllic summer holidays and activities. These highlight reels can create unrealistic standards and pressures, making mums feel inadequate by comparison. The fear of not measuring up to these ‘perfect’ portrayals can intensify feelings of guilt, that were not able to provide these same experiences for our own children.
4. Feelings of Inadequacy: Some mums might worry that they are not creative or resourceful enough in planning activities that are both fun and enriching for their children. This self-doubt can be a significant source of guilt, particularly for those who feel they fall short of their own or societal expectations.
5. Lack of Routine: The disruption of school routines during summer can lead to behavioural changes and restlessness in children, which can add to the stress and guilt felt by mums. Managing the household without the structure of school can make mums feel overwhelmed and responsible for any negative experiences their children might have.
Ok, I think I might be suffering from Summer hols mum-guilt, what are the impacts?
Emotional Strain: Mum-guilt can lead to feelings of sadness, anxiety, and stress. The constant self-criticism and worry about not doing enough can be emotionally draining.
Burnout: The effort to overcompensate for perceived shortcomings (e.g., planning extensive activities, striving for perfection) can lead to physical and mental exhaustion, resulting in burnout.
Relationship Strain: These feelings can also strain relationships with partners, friends, and extended family, as we might feel isolated or unsupported in our efforts to create the perfect summer.
Right, so what strategies can I use to alleviate Mum-Guilt?
1. Set Realistic Expectations: Understand that it's impossible to meet every idealised standard. Setting realistic and attainable goals for summer activities can alleviate self-imposed pressure.
2. Focus on Quality, Not Quantity: Prioritise meaningful and quality interactions over the number of activities. Simple, everyday moments spent together can be just as impactful as elaborate outings.
3. Incorporate Inexpensive Activities: Explore low-cost or free activities such as nature walks, home crafts, or local community events. These can be just as enjoyable and memorable without the financial strain.
4. Practice Self-Compassion: Remind yourself that being a good mum doesn’t mean being perfect. Acknowledge your efforts and celebrate the small wins to build up your confidence and reduce any feelings of inadequacy.
5. Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to reach out for help from family, friends, or parenting groups. Sharing experiences and tips can provide emotional support and practical suggestions to manage summer better.
Do you think Summer Holiday mum-guilt is a thing? How are you feeling about the upcoming summer hols? If you’d like some creative tips, activities and support planning simple routines and structures for your family’s summer break, I’d love you to join my Facebook group The Stress-Free Summer Holiday Challenge https://www.facebook.com/groups/999199685299346/?ref=share_group_link
