I was on Mums/Moms in Business Global ~ Support. Education. Visibility training last night, talking about "Ready to go all in" Something was said and I felt that wave of grief wash over me. I moved camera off of me to try and compose myself but Leona (despite having several dozen other participants on) must have seen and asked everyone to send me some love in the chat, which they all did. MIB is such an amazing community and Leona is such a sweetheart, so filled with empathy yet is the most powerful, strong, uplifting and inspiring woman I am blessed to know. Being self employed can be so very lonely yet by being a MIB, I know they are there for me and it's such an empowering feeling.
After being set our questions to think about, we were put into breakout rooms, which was something that always used to terrify me but I was quite looking forward to having a useful discussion. To be honest the hardest thing for us girls is to remain focused on the discussion topic and not to just have a good old catch up. Anyhow I was paired with the lovely Charlotte Elizabeth and she asked how I was to which I replied good. She then said "Are you really?" I hadn't ever met her so I thought I should explain so I sobbed put "I lost my Dad a couple of weeks ago and his funeral is on Friday" Then we had a chat about making sure I give myself time as she learnt herself, was so important, following a loss she had in recent years.
The trouble is that when self employed you need to keep momentum going to keep the money coming in. I was so thankful I could put everything down to help my parents move, visit Dad in hospital, help him escape and nurse him whilst he deteriorated. I was honoured to be able to do that for him and my family and financially I can manage. However getting back in the saddle is proving difficult. I am managing to run my groups, as my clients depend on the experiences i give them to cope with their own troubles. In a way I am thankful two of my groups have been suspended as it gives me more time to recover myself and more work which will pay too is starting to trickle through now word is spreading about how helpful my sessions are. My UW work is a little harder though and it's that which gives me the financial freedom to run the craft sessions, go to choir and Slimming world etc. So yeah maybe I am not ready to 'Go All in' but in remaining part of the amazingly supportive community that is MIB, I know they will be cheering me on and helping me when I do!
Thanks to Charlotte for a very helpful breakout room. I can't wait to get to know you and support you as you launch your wedding planning business in the new year. XXXX
P.d. Tammy in a red top and the infamous coloured hair (blue and purple that time) standing over her sitting Dad who is wearing his trademark checkered shirt in blue and smiling up at her
Cathlene
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