Can we also turn this around to ‘Showing Up for Ourselves!’ Often, we force ourselves to get out of bed in the morning to either show up to a job we dislike, or feeling like we have nothing to even get up for. I’ve struggled with getting out of bed in the past when I was suffering from depression and going through a mental breakdown. I didn’t have the energy, and I was painfully aware of the ache in my entire body from the trauma I’d endured over the years. My mind and body had come to a complete halt.
I remember feeling so low, with no energy at all. The thoughts that went through my mind were so negative—my mindset shattered, stuck in a state of disrepair, lacking willpower and motivation. I wondered how I would ever get myself to a place where I could flow again.
Through my journey with journaling, I began talking to myself, asking what I truly wanted. At that time, I wanted to have energy, to wake up feeling positive, and to have that “get up and go” feeling. But I needed to quieten the noise that would wake me up every morning—the noise of my own mind, the taste and feeling of anxiety. My body hurt so much that it was like a “hurting numbness.” But how was I going to do this?
It all began with a plan in my journal, a plan of my own—doing it in a way that was safe and comfortable for me. I started researching the nervous system and learning about how trauma affects the mind and body. I knew I needed to get rid of the pain. Through my reading, I noticed a pattern: the thoughts in my mind were also damaging my body, and my nervous system was reacting to those thoughts.
I read about breathing and how it sends signals to our brain, especially when we’re in a state of fight or flight. So, I became more conscious of my breathing and explored different breathing practices to help stabilise my nervous system and change how I reacted to certain situations. This awareness extended to my body, too. Being in a constant state of anxiety meant I was living in fight or flight, and my body was bearing the brunt of it. I started noticing where I was holding tension, like my shoulders, neck, and arms. When I became aware of this clenching, I could work on releasing those muscles. I kept checking in on myself—my breathing, my thoughts, and my body.
I also realised that if I wanted to wake up better, I should work on my bedtime routine, too. Each evening, after dinner, I’d begin winding down. I’d take a warm shower, visualising the water cleansing away the stress of the day while practising mindful breathing. I’d put on my favourite pyjamas, make my bedroom cosy, and journal about my feelings, expressing deep gratitude to myself for the care I was showing. Falling asleep had become such a task—I would lie awake for hours, struggling to quiet my mind. To help ease myself into sleep, I started listening to guided meditations on YouTube. If I woke up in the middle of the night, I’d put on another meditation to help me drift back to sleep.
I noticed that the more consistent I was with this pattern, it was as though I was training my brain, signalling to it that it was time for sleep.
This year, when my son passed into the spirit world, I relied on everything I’d learned to continue showing up for myself. I set simple, gentle steps for each day: Get dressed. Get washed. Eat. Along with these essentials, I reminded myself to practice thought awareness and to stay aware of my body. Back then, my body was in a state of shock, holding tension and grief in ways I hadn’t fully realised. Thought awareness helped me notice and gently challenge my mind when it slipped into despair, while staying in tune with my body allowed me to release tension and slowly regain a sense of calm.
These steps may seem small, but they’re essential. When neglected, they’re harder to return to, and they have a profound impact on both mind and body.
Whatever you’re going through right now, remembser: when you wake yup and get out of bed, remember the importance of showing up for yourself.
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