The Next Chapter as Our Kids Go to College
I always knew the day would come when my children would head off to college, last year #4, my baby went off to college. but nothing truly prepares you for the mix of emotions that hit when it actually happens. It's a milestone that symbolizes success, independence, and the bright future ahead for them, but for us as parents, it also signals a shift—a new chapter in our lives that requires a different kind of strength and adaptability.
The Bittersweet Reality of Letting Go
From my perspective as a mom, who was a stay-at-home mom for over 20 years and homeschooled for 12 of those years, my journey of raising children is filled with countless milestones: their first steps, first words, and first day of school. But sending them off to college felt different. It’s not just another milestone; it’s a profound transition that reshaped my life, my relationships, and my daily life.
I remember packing up my child’s belongings, making sure they had everything they could possibly need. We shopped for dorm essentials, debated over which books to bring, and talked endlessly about their new life on campus. There was a feeling of anticipation and excitement—yet also a quiet down feeling. I was going to miss them, how were my days going to be filled, who would I happily say good morning to every day and give a kiss and an I love You before bed every night?
Letting go is never easy, even when you know it's the right thing to do. There’s a certain bittersweetness in seeing your child so ready to take on the world while you remain behind, adjusting to the space they’ve left behind. I mean, after all, our goal all along was to raise independent young adults and well, we have done our job.
Finding Purpose in a New Chapter
When they go to college, it's not just their life that changes— mine did too. The house feels quieter, the routines shift, and I suddenly have more time to myself. It’s a time that many parents find challenging as I certainly did.
For me, it was a period of reflection. What does my role as a mom look like now that my child is no longer living under my roof? How do I fill the time that was once occupied with school events, martial arts, sports, and schoolwork? These were questions I wrestled with, and I imagine many parents do too.
One of the most important realizations I had was that this new chapter isn't just an ending—it's also a beginning. It’s an opportunity to rediscover myself, my interests, and my passions. Because I realized too that my children were all of those to me. They still are but their talking, laughter, and togetherness no longer fill my days. This time could be used to pursue hobbies that had been on the back burner for years, to reconnect with friends, and to reevaluate opportunities or personal goals. I am still working on this.
Staying Connected While Letting Go
Even as our children become more independent, the bond we share doesn’t disappear; it just evolves. It’s important to find ways to stay connected without hovering. I made it a point to respect my child's newfound independence while also maintaining regular communication. We set up phone calls, and I occasionally send care packages—small reminders that, no matter where they are, they’re still very much loved.
I also found comfort in joining parent groups on their campuses where we could share experiences and offer support to one another. Knowing that other parents were going through similar emotions helped me feel less alone in this transition.
Preparing for the Emotional Journey
As parents, it’s important to prepare ourselves emotionally for the shift that comes when our children go to college. And to know that it's okay to feel sad, to miss them, and to worry about how they’ll handle this new chapter. But it’s equally important to trust that we’ve equipped them with the tools they need to succeed and to thrive on their own.
I found that acknowledging my feelings, rather than suppressing them, made the transition smoother. Talking to friends, journaling, and sticking with my routine, especially my morning workout routine made it smoother.
What Comes After They Leave?
My next steps are not fully clear yet but are full of potential. This phase is different for everyone. For some, it may mean a renewed focus on a career, for others, it might be about nurturing relationships, or perhaps it’s about finally having the time to travel or volunteer.
For me, it was about finding balance—continuing to support my child while also allowing myself to grow and pursue my own interests. I am discovering that life after kids isn’t about filling a void; it’s about expanding my world and embracing the opportunities that come with this newfound freedom.
Sending our kids off to college is certainly a testament to the hard work we’ve put into raising them. It’s a proud moment, even if it’s tinged with sadness. As we adjust to this new chapter, it is important to approach it with an open heart, ready to embrace the changes and the growth that come with it.
Life after kids is not an end, but a continuation that is just as important and fulfilling. It’s a time to rediscover ourselves, nurture our relationships, and support our children from a distance as they navigate their own paths. And in doing so, we learn that this journey is as much about our growth as it is theirs.
Alex A 13 w
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