I'm sure we've all sat there and asked ourselves "Is it just me?", "Am I a freak?", "Am I alone?"
These questions plague everyone, but especially queer people.
Everyone in your class is talking about their crushes on boys. You have a crush on a girl. Or you don't have a crush at all!
You lie awake at night asking yourself "Is it just me?", "Am I a freak?", "Am I alone?"
Even as you start to accept your sexuality and/or gender identity, there are still doubts. I know as a bisexual person, married to a man, I often wondered if I was 'faking it'. And more recently I've struggled with my gender identity.
And you know what's helped me loads? The media I consume. Yes, it's also helpful to speak to other, real, LGBTQA+ people both online and in person.
But for someone like me, a perpetual introvert, media has been hugely important.
I remember watching CW's Arrow and Legends of Tomorrow, and feeling so seen in the character Sara Lance. Around the time those shows were airing, Chyler Leigh from CW's Supergirl spoke about how playing a queer character on the show, helped her figure out aspects of her own sexuality.
I felt so seen. Here are these characters and actors, who I greatly admire, and I can see myself or part of myself in them.
Sara Lance dated men, but eventually married a woman. Chyler Leigh is married to a man, but doesn't consider herself straight.
If it's okay for these people, it's okay for me too.
Then I started to have similar questions about my gender identity. I don't feel like a woman, but I don't feel like a man, either. I just feel like me. Sometimes I like wearing makeup and dressing up. Sometimes I'm happy in sweats and a T-shirt.
But to really be a man or a woman, didn't I have to act, dress and behave a certain way?
Am I not a woman because I don't shave my legs? Or because I have short hair.
Then Emma D'arcy from House of the Dragon started to become more recognizable online, due to the hit HBO show. For those who don't know, Emma uses they/them pronouns. They have short hair, and often dress in a masculine or androgynous way. But that doesn't stop them from being loved and accepted as an excellent actor.
All around us, the media we consume is full of representation, and different sexualities and gender identities. If you think in you're alone for being male, but loving to wear make up, you're not, there's hundreds of men of varying orientations out there. Or if you think you're a freak for having no sexual/ romantic desires, when all your friends are talking about who they slept with, or who they have a crush on, just look at people like Yasmin Benoit.
The list of LGBTQA+ people grows more every day, and as it does, more queer people feature in the TV shows and movies we watch, the books we read, and the video games we play.
I'm a huge Sims fan, and I remember the campaign to get customizable pronouns added to the game. So many trans and non-binary people spoke about how having this safe place to explore their gender identity really helped them.
So, this Pride month, why not support the LGBTQA+ by reading some queer fiction? I have a curated list, featuring my own sapphic books here, but you're welcome to use other resources around the web too. What's important is trying something new. Learning about other ways of live, and reminding yourself, you're not alone.
