ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT: THE LIFE-CHANGING POWER OF SPEAKING UP
Let me ask you something: When was the last time you boldly asked for what you wanted? Not hinted, not hoped, but actually put it out there—directly, clearly, unapologetically?
If you’re like most people, the answer is probably “not often enough.”
Why? Because asking for what you want is terrifying. It makes you feel vulnerable. It opens you up to rejection. It forces you to confront the possibility that the answer might be “no.” But let me tell you something: NOT asking is the real failure.
The Truth About Not Asking
Most people go through life waiting. Waiting to be noticed, waiting for an opportunity, waiting for someone to offer them what they desire. But life doesn’t work that way. You don’t get what you don’t ask for.
Think about it: When you were a kid, if you wanted a cookie, you asked. If you wanted a toy, you asked. You didn’t sit around wondering if your parents could read your mind. You made your request known. Somewhere along the way, though, you learned that asking feels risky. You heard things like:
- “Don’t be too pushy.”
- “Wait your turn.”
- “Good things come to those who wait.”
But let’s be real—good things come to those who ASK.
The Science of Asking
Studies show that people dramatically underestimate how willing others are to help. Research from Harvard found that when people directly ask for help, they are far more likely to receive it than they assume. Yet, most of us don’t speak up because we fear looking needy or incompetent.
Here’s the truth: Successful people ask for what they want—constantly. They ask for promotions, raises, opportunities, introductions, advice. They don’t wait. They don’t assume others know what they need. They make it clear. And because they ask, they receive.
How to Start Asking for What You Want
If you’re ready to stop waiting and start getting what you deserve, here’s how to do it:
1. Be Clear and Direct
No vague hints. No dancing around the subject. Get straight to the point. Instead of saying, “I was kind of hoping for a raise,” say, “I would like a $10,000 raise because I’ve increased revenue by 30% this year.”
2. Detach from the Outcome
Here’s a hard truth: Not everyone will say yes. And that’s okay. A “no” is better than a “what if.” Every rejection brings you closer to a “yes.” Don’t let fear of rejection keep you silent.
3. Ask with Confidence
People respond to certainty. If you believe you deserve something, they’ll believe it too. Speak with confidence, maintain eye contact, and own your request.
4. Practice Small Asks
If asking feels overwhelming, start small. Ask for a discount at a store. Ask a friend for a favor. Build your “asking muscle” so that when it really matters, you’re ready.
Your Life Will Change When You Start Asking
You are one ask away from an opportunity, a breakthrough, a transformation. The biggest changes in my life? They happened because I asked. I asked for a raise. I asked for help. I asked for a chance.
So here’s your challenge: Ask for something today. Big or small, it doesn’t matter. Just practice using your voice. And when you do? Watch how your world starts to change.
Now, go ask.
