Empowerment Through Knowledge

I recall the precise moment when I realized I needed to break free from a marriage that had held me captive for far too long. It became clear that I couldn't continue dodging the bullets of abuse for the rest of my days. The situation was taking a toll on my health, but I had to stay for the sake of my daughter. It was on Christmas Day in 2018 when I realised I needed to get out.

Having just completed two weeks of radiotherapy for the sarcoma I was diagnosed with, and still recovering from emergency abdominal surgery, the events that followed made a bad situation so much worse. A week after being discharged from surgery, my husband left with our daughter to go shopping. Upon returning, he dropped her off to me, took the key to the marital home we once shared, and slammed the door behind him.

To provide context, we had been living separately for 18 months prior to this incident after he locked me and our daughter out. I was advised that if he wouldn't leave, I had to, or child services would intervene. He made it clear that he would leave me destitute if I divorced him, so I endured a fractured marriage for a further four years, fulfilling my role as a wife but living very much as a single parent. But we would put on a facade for the world on weekends.

Following my hospitalization, he was supposed to support my recovery by staying at the rental house with our daughter. However, he chose to walk out on us, clearly under the influence.

Given my recent surgery and fragile health, managing our 3-year-old daughter alone was challenging. The verbal abuse or stonewalling I faced in the lead-up to Christmas added to the strain. When I needed help getting the Christmas presents for our daughter that were stored and out of sight of wondering eyes, including a heavy dollhouse, his lack of cooperation was evident.

After multiple unsuccessful attempts to communicate with him, I resorted to contacting his office, which led to a brief conversation. His responses were dismissive and controlling, leaving me to figure out how to handle Christmas preparations alone.

On Christmas Eve, he was unresponsive, leaving me in a difficult situation. Eventually, after sending him an email, he allowed me to collect our daughter's presents upon his return home.

Despite his abusive behavior, he expected me to return to the rental house with him. This led to further conflict, and I firmly expressed my boundaries. His absence on Christmas morning highlighted the strained relationship, and despite sending him a video of xmas morning he continued to ignore me.

After the chaotic events, I found myself in a dark place of depression, contemplating my next steps. Following my recovery, I enrolled in a clinical hypnotherapy course and sought legal advice to navigate the impending challenges.

However, the situation escalated, and I was forced to take action after experiencing intense fear. His threatening words shook me to the core, prompting me to call 999.

Navigating the broken justice system in the midst of ongoing abuse was a harrowing experience. Despite the lack of immediate justice, my growing understanding of domestic abuse and the law provided a sense of empowerment and safety.

Through my journey, I realized the importance of knowledge in surviving such traumatic experiences. This realisation inspired me to create the Domestic AbuseBreakthrough Handbook to support other women facing similar challenges and empower them to seek safety for themselves and their children.

While my journey has been rather rocky and riddled with fear, the knowledge I've gained has been my greatest asset in navigating through the darkness. No one else was there to provide the guidance I needed, prompting me to take action to protect myself and my daughter.

Join my free support group to connect with experts and access valuable resources in the meantime. Together, we can provide a safe space for women facing similar struggles and ensure they don't feel as powerless as many victims do when seeking justice.

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Remember, even in the midst of adversity, there are moments of strength and resilience that shine through. Despite the challenges, my determination to create a special Christmas for my daughter prevailed, fueled by the unwavering love and responsibility I felt towards her.

And remember, appearances can be deceiving, looking at the picture attached nobody would have thought I was fighting for my life and recovering still from major surgery, let alone dodging bullets of abuse.

The reality was the nightmare I faced for many years with the man who claimed to love me, represented a greater risk than the big C