Parenting: noun
the activity of bringing up a child as a parent.
Parenting: actual
a whirlwind of emotion and change and Getting It Right. All through a fog of happy, sleepless, tearful, bliss. Guesswork, tying yourself up in knots and the odd spark of intuition - fueled by cold coffee and chocolate.
And breathe.
I'm Shelley and, for over 18 years, I've been helping grown-ups to understand their amazing little ones through the magic of baby signing.
Why?
Well, there is huge focus on how babies and toddlers need fixing - from sleep to tantrums - and a whole lot more besides.
There is never ending, overwhelming, often conflicting and unsolicited advice about how you should 'fix' your little one.
Decision fatigue sets in and your confidence takes a nose dive.
Then in walks your new friend 'Second Guessing', closely followed by another new pal, 'Getting it Right' - and they start to consume almost every waking moment of parenting.
The joy, fun and wonder of babyhood seem to have all but evaporated in a giddy swirl of development milestones, next sized nappies and that latest parent-expert book that you will never have time to read.
I am guessing that part of the reason that you are here is that you just know there is a better way - if only you could find the right tools....
The good news?
Those tools you’re looking for are, quite literally, at your fingertips, in the simple magic of baby signing.
And yes, it really IS magic!
Even now baby signing is still not widely known about or discussed in parenting circles but it was something I was lucky enough to discover when I was pregnant with my first daughter, Ebony, who is now 17.
It revolutionised everything I ever expected or thought I knew about being a mama.
Because.
What if your baby could let you know that they needed their milk or their nappy changing?
(Our youngest signing baby was just ten weeks old. Ten weeks! I don't mind telling you that this blew me away at the time but babies even younger than this can recognise your signs and respond to them!)
What if life with your toddler was so rich in wonder and togetherness and understanding that tantrums barely existed?
(90% of toddler tantrums are connected to just four things. FOUR. But it feels so much bigger than that.)
The constant decisions and situations we face as parents, on a daily basis, leads to what the psychologists dub "decision fatigue."
I learned that phrase years later, but I knew the feeling all too well in those early days.
(Ok, no lie, I still feel it today)
Our tired brains are muddled and the bombardment of knowledge just keeps on coming.
Enough already!
It's no wonder we hit ‘peak knackered’ by midday and then your little one cries.
Your mind races, as you wonder what they need now - surely you only just fed / changed / napped them?
They don't feel hot but there are all these tears...
As you rock your tot, you guess and try all the things, for the twelfth time today.
If only there was a way you could figure it out more quickly…
Enter baby signing.
It is, without question, the simplest parenting hack in the world and an absolutely phenomenal tool to support emotional development and security, understanding and connection.
I think somehow it’s easier for mum's to develop ways of communicating with babies; they seem innately able to read those subtle cues, to tell the difference between cries.
But baby signing unlocks some of these mysteries for everyone.
As a father I feel like I too can meet my son’s needs now. When he first signed to me that he needed a nappy change (at 4 months old!), and he did, I was bowled over!Baby signing Daddy, Ben
We know now that early childhood experiences (the first two years) can affect children much later on in life.
It has also come to light that it isn't a baby or toddlers first instinct to cry.*
But when we cry, the hormone cortisol rushes into the blood stream as a response to the stress. Crying tends to be the last resort for attention and to have immediate needs met.
Immediate needs are for food, drink, comfort, sleep, a familiar and safe place (you, you and yes - some more you).
But what on earth does this have to do with baby signing?
Baby signing gives your little one the tools to tell you what they need BEFORE they feel the need to tell you how urgent it is with crying.
Which means that you aren’t having to play the guessing game again and add even more decisions to your already tired head.
Because your tot can tell you – without tears – what they need, it vastly reduces the stress that they carry around in their small bodies and, more importantly, it helps them to feel secure - quickly and easily.
Instead?
Your baby is calmer and happier - and in turn you are also calmer and happier.
Guessing disappears, removing decision fatigue in one huge area of your life.
Frustration - from everyone - is gone.
That odd spark of intuition?
It becomes a deep, unshakable level of absolute confidence.
(I can't promise you a hot cuppa though... sorry!!!!)
Just a handful of signs gives your baby the means to let you know what they need.
Those are the signs that meet immediate needs, which we looked at a moment ago.
So the signs for bed, milk (or drink and eat), cuddle and nappy change will make the biggest difference for the longest time.
(you can find those just here)
And, being confident of being understood means that your baby can get on with the all important work of childhood - play and exploration and discovery - secure in the knowledge that they have the tools to ask for what they need, when they need it.
Baby signing increases positive, fun and supportive experiences, helping to build a happy brain.
For us, knowing what she needed made parenting much easier. Being more responsive to her [because of babysigning] meant we had a child who knew we would listen to anything she needed - and always try to help.
babysigning Mama, Katherine
So, can baby signing work for you?
Yes. It really, really can.
Perhaps you'll give baby signing a try yourself.
Because .... what if it works?
*the Still Face Experiment, Ed Tronick
Shelley is the founder of Little Signers Club and has been teaching little ones, and their grown ups, how to use sign language for accelerated communication and understanding since 2005.
Kindly regarded as an expert in her field, Shelley is an award winning author, has created the UK's first CPD accredited baby signing training, regularly contributed to Childcare Expo, has been featured on BBC1, BBC Radio, in Junior Magazine, Gurgle Magazine, and was a contributing author for ToddlerCalm; A Guide to Calmer Toddlers.
She has three children of her own and, when she is not sharing her love of baby signing with the world, can be regularly found toasting marshmallows over a campfire.
https://www.littlesignersclub.co.uk
