An increasing number of women are starting their own businesses or side hustle and many of those are ‘one woman bands’, either full time, alongside caring for family members or alongside a job.
Faking it at networking
These women are looking for ways to promote their business and stand out, many are also looking for support, particularly if they aren’t connected to others in similar positions. Locally, online or both they start networking to overcome that and so find a new barrier. At the networking events and in the online networking groups they feel unable to confidently and concisely say what they do. Often in one-to-one discussions, they connect easily with people but dread the ‘elevator’ pitch and shrink away if someone suggests they give the guest talk. They feel that they didn’t start a business to deliver presentations and often feel that they’d never be capable of speaking to an audience, even when the audience is a small networking group they are beginning to know well.
When two such people admit to each other how they feel about their elevator pitch or being the event speaker they are often astounded that they are not the only one who feels this way. Faking it is real, especially when it comes to business confidence.
The value of confidence
Real confidence is everything though. Finding the elevator pitch that you confidently believe in doesn’t just increase confidence in those hearing it, it also increases the confidence in you as the speaker. Stepping up as the guest speaker doesn’t just tell people about who you are and your business, it can directly increase your own business confidence. Realising that there is value in what you have to say is often a surprise to the speaker, we take for granted what we know well.
The lies we believe
As much as all the above applies to all genders, many women in the above position have common challenges which have arisen from their upbringing and is perpetuated by those around them. The following beliefs often exist and are either shared with friends or internally
it’s just pin money
it's not a proper business because there are no premises or staff
it’s not a proper business because it’s not a full-time income
it’s not a proper business because it's not a “serious” product or service
I shouldn’t look too intelligent, it’s unattractive
I mustn’t brag or show off, it’s unattractive
These beliefs are not only unhelpful but untrue. Pin money is money and a profit is profit, businesses can be many shapes and sizes and aren’t restricted to traditional products and services, and the last two considerations should be shoved back in the 1950s where they belong (or better just where the sun doesn’t shine). When we allow ourselves to accept any such lies, then it becomes impossible to network with the confidence our business needs.
Uncovering truth
The struggle many have with presenting themselves and their businesses therefore does not just arise from the lack of knowledge on how to create an effective elevator pitch, or the lack of public speaking and presentation skills, but a lack of appreciation and understanding of what they offer as a person and through their business. What many need is someone who can listen and spot what they themselves are missing, help gain belief in what does exist rather than focus on what it is not, and someone who will leave them saying ‘Well of course that’s true, but I hadn’t thought of it before!’
Getting personal
When it comes to networking the person and the business cannot be separated because they are one and the same. Frequently the person may pivot their business, add income streams, and drop one business for an entirely different one, however, if they are known in their network and communicate those changes effectively then their network will generally stay with them. If people recommend a woman with her first business because they believe in her, they will continue to recommend her in her next.
However, first, that woman must believe that when she is asked about her business, that it is a business, her own, done her way, but without a lie, a business all the same.
