Why Human Design?....
Let me take you back 13 ½ years ago.
I was living in Dubai, working with Emirates as a Sales Marketing Manager, and just given birth to my second child.
I had a team of people, an office with incredible views over Dubai that had a little plaque on the door with my name on.
As part of my salary package, I lived in a villa, all of my bills were paid, I drove a 4x4, all of my fuel and insurance was paid, I had a cleaner who took care of all of my washing, ironing, and housework.
I went VIP to every single sporting event including the Cartier Polo Cup, F1, Rugby 7’s.
I sat in a corporate box at concerts, my favourite being Kylie Minogue!
I had a country club membership and went and sat round the pool and had brunch every weekend.
I ate out in restaurants most days.
Lunch was paid for through my work.
I travelled in Business class, and only had to pay the airport taxes (approx. £70-£100)
At weekends I went to the Maldives, Seychelles, Muscat, Abu Dhabi – and stayed in luxury 5-star hotels, for free. (again, perks of the job)
Sounds like a nice lifestyle, yes?
After I had my second child, I flew home with £500 in my purse and six suitcases, that I begged the check in girl not to charge me for, a new born and a 1-year-old.
The decade in Dubai was the best and worst experience of my life.
I seemed to trigger everyone in my team, and they all essentially hated me.
The way people reacted to me felt like I was marmite.
My husband at the time was having affairs with the entire female workforce (we worked in the same department, so that was nice and humiliating)
Our lifestyle was a façade, because of all of the free aspects of my salary, villa, car, etc, my take home pay was very little….. I couldn’t save because of this ‘Dubai Lifestyle’ that I was dragged into to maintain. (hence why I flew home with only £500)
I was OVERWORKED and mentally exhausted, I felt constantly exhausted, I felt like I couldn’t keep up with everyone in the office, and on many occasions totally sacrificed myself, working until 11pm and weekends just to get through emails and to do lists, because it never seemed to end.
I had to leave my first child in the care of a nanny from being 5 weeks old, as the maternity time in the UAE at the time was only 4 weeks, and I was in the midst of launching projects, that I felt I had to prioritise as some way to prove my place in the company – because my entire existence hanged on that job.
I was a ‘yes’ girl, whatever my boss asked of me, I said yes, because I felt like if I didn’t then my inability to keep up with everyone else would somehow be exposed.
I wore suits every day, I actually loved that bit, if you have ever watched the film ‘Big Business’ that was the energy I was channelling walking through the hallways of my office building in my Massimo Dutti suits haha!
Then I landed back at London Gatwick, with my six suitcases and two infants and £500 and as I walked out of the airport, I thought…… WTF am I going to do now?
I lived with my sister in West Sussex, she had a little cottage on her land, and we stayed there while I deluded myself that I could get a job in the city and afford housing and childcare for two infants.
I got many job offers, none of which I could make work.
That time in Dubai left me in a state of self-loathing, I felt like an absolute failure in life.
Failed marriage, I felt a failure at work because I couldn’t ‘keep up’ with the hustlers (even though I had way more success than they did, doing = success for me then), failure as a person, because I was no longer wearing suits, no longer lived in a villa, no longer had a car, no longer had an existence.
My life went from me holding a flute of champagne at the Cartier cup to me sitting in a coffee shop in Horsham TERRIFIED that people might ‘find me out’ as the woman who had failed.
What followed was a few weeks of fantasy, where when I did meet anyone, I pretended that I was just home from Dubai for a holiday and that YES, I was in fact still a high flying executive who lived in a villa, drove a 4x4, and lived the highlife in Dubai.
This will sound very bizarre, but having to reintegrate into the world of actually paying for bills and no longer being fast tracked to the front of the que in life was an experience.
Even though I knew that existence in Dubai was false and pretentious, and honestly I found myself rolling my eyes a lot at the lack of integrity and hypocrisy - it was all I had known for a decade.
In the weeks that followed my return my soul was like ‘get up lets go you can do this’, my nervous system had other plans, and I licked my wounds for a while.
I was in a state of freeze, which made the belief of ‘You are a failure and an imposter’ even stronger.
What would become of me, living at my sisters rent free with my £500 dwindling fast.
I felt completely incapable.
Who even was that version of me who could command a boardroom meeting.
Where had she gone.
I was in emotional turmoil during that time, the years of trying to keep up finally took its toll, the feelings of humiliation, failure, anxiety, fear, feeling lost – all washed over me.
I was responsible for two small children, without a penny to my name.
One of my core values is self-empowerment, and that ate at me a but because I had handed over my power to my job in Dubai and it had left me with nothing.
That same core value was the thing that got me out of the pickle I was in.
I remember when I was in Australia, before all of this happened, and we were at a makers market and there was a lady selling hand stitched kids pencil cases and we got chatting and I was amazing to find out that THAT was here job.
I recall at the time, oh my days I would LOVE to just create things and it be my job.
She flashed into my mind as I sat sobbing one day and I thought – That’s IT!!!
I made a list of all my talents, marketing was the big one, but my style of marketing was rebellious haha.
I went to makers markets near where I was living, I was looking at what kind of things were on offer.
Facebook was relatively new then, but there were a few mums in business groups, so I joined and watched.
There were so many options, I wanted to do them all!
So I set myself up as an entrepreneur, I worked out each month how much money I would need.
(Side note, I had been sucked into the world of government benefits in the time between coming home and having my wake up call, so I had that pressure to factor in, I had to make enough money to be able to stop claiming benefits.)
Every month I did something new haha, I always made my target.
One time I created bespoke kids party bags, marketing to the eco friendly mum who was sick of plastic tat. They were themes, environmentally friendly, nurturing, with a wellbeing vibe.
I got sick of that and moved onto Alibaba, before Alibaba was a thing, I bulk ordered stock that I thought would sell and set up a Shopify store, marketing it as a whimsical emporium. Unicorns, mermaids, mermen, and magic was the order of the day.
Again I got sick of that and moved onto taking on the world of getting kids off their tablets and being creative, and started a kids crafts concept and subscription. Each craft box had a theme and included all of the materials for kids to get lost in their imagination and creative expression.
Simultaneously I decided that I would study child psychology – as a single mother I wanted to make sure I hadn’t damaged my kid’s mental wellbeing by stuffing my belonging into a suitcase and leaving their father haha
This led to other trainings including NLP, CBT, EFT Trauma Healing
I was ‘Human Experience’ obsessed! And began my own healing journey in the process.
Fast forward another 20 or so business concepts and I landed at Kids Being Kind Magazine, a magazine I created to support the mental wellbeing of children aged 5-11 years.
This turned into a kids mental wellbeing modality, that is still shared in schools now.
This was my turning point into working with adults.
My fascination for human potential now rules my entrepreneurial journey and I infuse my years of innovative business concepts, understanding of human potential, the quantum field, and conscious creation to support soul led entrepreneurs to build a sustainable, authentic expression of their soul purpose.
So why Human Design?
It was my Human Design era that helped me make sense of and melt away the mess of 13 years ago.
It helped me understand the decisions I made, the behaviour, the actions.
It helped me let go of feeling like a failure and shift into embracing who I am at my core.
It helped me be at ease with myself, love myself, and celebrate myself.
It fuelled the already burning flame to go around and bang my drum telling people – YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOUR SOUL DESIRES, YOU ARE ENOUGH AS YOU ARE, YOU CAN LET GO OF IT ALL AND JUST BE YOU, WITH BELLS ON!!!
Along with……
You don’t need to struggle.
Your beliefs are nonsense.
You are a powerful creator.
Everyone has a business concept coded into their DNA.
My mantra is – I Am, Therefore I Earn, and I live by that mantra every single day – and I want you to as well.
So that’s why Human Design.
It allowed me to finally live within my values, respond to my soul, and no longer feel forced to make decisions based on external influences ever again.
Tons of Love
Leanne x
