I realise now I was perimenopausal in my 40's, I know that now because I've become a lot more aware about it.
At the time I just remember feeling really out of control, raging at every small mistake I made and clashing so much with my then teenage daughter. We're both red headed beauties and both have fires signs as our sun sign so we had some spectacular clashes! I also remember feeling like shit afterwards, what kind of mother was I raging at a 15 year old?
I talked to other people about it but was told I was over reacting and it's just normal. I wasn't going mad and no, don't be ridiculous you're not "menopausal". I had terrible mood swings, my sleep was even worse than usual and I felt like it was takiing me three times longer to do everything because I my brain felt like it was permanently on a go slow. Don't even get me started on the anxiety, I'd always had a low level of anxiety but this was beyond next level which added to the brain fog to make things I'd been doing for years and knew inside out take longer too.
So, I said at the beginning there were three things I wanted all perimenopausal women to know so here they are:-
1. Track your menstrual cycle- yes really. Even if you are convinced you're perimeopausal, properly knowing what's going on in your body and mind will really help. Don't just track your period - track the whole month. Ask me for more information if you need some help with that. It's obviously best if you start before but whenever you start it will help. Trust me on this one.
2. YOU know your own body best, if it doesn't feel right or you think something has changed and it's affecting your life. Go see your GP, if you don't feel completely listened to the first time go back. If you're prescribed something you're not comfortable with - don't settle. Tell them, just as an add on to that. A lot of women I know have been prescribed antidepressants by their GP, especially if you cry in the consulting room!! Antidepressants should not be the first line of treatment for perimenopausal mood issues - as stated in the NICE guidelines. Ask if there's a GP in the practice who has an interest or specialism in gynaecology or menopause and see them if you can. If you've followed number 1 you'll have good evidence to show them too.
3. This is a HUGE change in a woman's life, moving from a reproductive cycle to a differently productive cycle. There is going to be a period of grieving, as with any change or loss. I know we all curse our periods but they do have a significance to us as women as well. Even if that's not at the front of your mind all the time while it's happening. Don't be surprised if you feel sad, lost or just numb. It's not unusual, it's perfectly normal for most of us to experience a bit of this. Saying that, it also doesn't mean you have to suffer in silence or alone. Reach out to someone. A friend, your GP or a therapist if you feel like you need support and someone to listen and hold you.
I'd love to know your experiences or your top tips for perimenopause.
If you'd like to know more about support or you'd like to join my brand new membership The Perimenopause Portal send me a DM and let's chat
