Life.
That’s a big word, isn’t it? A concept so vast and encompassing that defining it feels like trying to capture the wind. But life, in its simplest form, is a heartbeat—a breath that moves through us, guiding us from one moment to the next. It’s the choices we make, the relationships we nurture, the dreams we pursue, and the lessons we learn. Yet it’s so much more than that. Life is creation; it’s the dance between what we’ve been told it should be and what we decide to make of it.
At first glance, life can seem as binary as living and dying, but it’s more than just existing. It’s what we create in between those two poles. It’s what we breathe into our world with every decision, every step forward, and every bold leap into the unknown. Life is precious—a concept many of us recognize but rarely pause to truly understand. In the rush to “live a good life,” we often underestimate our power to shape it, to influence it, and to decide where it takes us.
But here’s the thing: many of us drift. We follow a path that seems set for us—a predetermined road paved by societal expectations, parental guidance, or the subconscious idea that we should aim for the checkboxes laid out in front of us. What if we stopped and asked ourselves, “Am I living my life, or the life I’ve been told to live?”
The Trap of the List
Ah, the list. We all have one, don’t we? A mental or physical checklist of the things we need to accomplish to feel like we’ve succeeded at life. Marriage. Kids. Career. House. The dog, the car, and maybe even that white picket fence.
The trouble with these lists is that they don’t belong to us. They’re a patchwork quilt of societal norms, family expectations, and the false beliefs we’ve internalized about what makes a life valuable. We’ve been handed this blueprint of what a “good life” should look like, and without question, many of us set out to tick every box.
But when you really stop and think about it, does a life’s worth come from whether or not you’ve checked off every item on this prescribed list? Are you more valuable because you got married by 30, had two kids, landed a six-figure salary, and own a detached house? And what happens when life doesn’t fit neatly into those boxes?
Many of us, in fact, don’t realize that we have the power to choose. That’s the great tragedy. We get to choose what life means for us, and yet, so many of us walk around believing that life is happening to us, not through us. We don't have to live by the list.
Yet, choosing isn’t always easy. Sometimes, the boldest step we take is stepping away from what we think we should do, and stepping into what we truly want to do. That’s where courage comes in—breaking free from the checklist and designing a life that reflects who we really are.
Ticking the Boxes, Losing the Self
Let’s take a closer look at this pursuit of the “good life.” For many of us, it starts early, in our twenties. We’re told to aim for stability, success, and a certain version of happiness. And, like so many others, I thought, “Right. I’m going to show the world I have a life of value. I’ll get the good job. I’ll marry the right person, have the perfect family, and hit all the milestones by the time I’m 30.”
I followed the map laid out for me. I chased that six-figure salary, the house, the family, and all the trimmings that were supposed to make me feel whole. But here’s the irony: the more I tried to tick off every box, the more I lost myself. The version of life I was creating wasn’t mine. It belonged to everyone else.
And then, the collapse. Burnout. The realization that the pursuit of perfection was not only unsustainable but hollow. I was trapped in a life of doing, constantly moving but never being. I was a perfect mother, running my children around to every activity. I was a model employee, working more than 40 hours a week, because that’s just how things were. But where was I in all of it?
Life Isn’t a Straight Line
I once read that life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans. It’s true, isn’t it? We’re always planning for the future, striving toward goals, and telling ourselves that once we achieve them, we’ll be happy. But life has a funny way of pulling us off course. Sometimes, it’s a gentle nudge. Other times, it’s a catastrophic jolt, like getting sick, losing a job, or experiencing heartbreak.
For me, life’s wake-up call came in the form of illness—a complete and total shutdown of my body. At the time, I couldn’t understand why it was happening. I’d been doing everything “right.” I was successful. I had ticked so many boxes. But looking back, it’s clear that my body and soul had been sending signals long before I crashed. I just wasn’t listening. I was too busy chasing that perfect life, too busy achieving, to realize I wasn’t living at all.
It took a health crisis to stop me in my tracks and force me to ask the hard questions: What am I doing? Why am I doing it? And most importantly, who am I doing it for?
In that stillness, I began to find clarity. Life is not about relentless achievement. It’s about connection—to yourself, to others, and to the experiences that fill your heart with meaning. It’s about slowing down enough to hear what you really want, rather than what you think you should want.
The Power of Breath and Hug
In this world of constant noise and distraction, it’s easy to forget the simple things. Like breathing. Life, at its most basic level, is breath. It’s the inhale and the exhale. When we breathe deeply, with intention, we slow down. We quiet the mind. We hear ourselves. In the chaos of life, we often forget to listen—to ourselves, to our bodies, and to the still, small voice within that knows what we really need.
And then, there’s the hug. The simplest gesture, yet one that holds profound power. A hug is more than just physical contact; it’s an exchange of energy, a silent reassurance that you are seen, that you matter. It’s an act of love, a moment of connection in its purest form. When you hug someone, truly hug them, you remind them—and yourself—what life is really about.
Living Life on Your Terms
So, what does it all mean? What does life mean to you?
Maybe life is about family, about deepening your relationships with the people who matter most. Or maybe it’s about independence, charting your own course, and living authentically, even if it doesn’t align with society’s expectations.
Life is breath. Life is love. And we’ve forgotten how simple it can be. We complicate it with lists and expectations, chasing after things that don’t fill us up. But if we pause, breathe deeply, and hug the people we care about, we’ll remember what it’s all for.
The beauty of life is that it’s always evolving, and we can evolve with it. We can choose to let go of the checklist, embrace the messiness, and start living the life that’s meant for us. No one else.
After all, you only get one.
